And like most things it went totally different then i ever imagined it would. My sister showed rather unexcited about Ball State. She didn’t seem too into metting my friends or seeing the campus. I showed her around, we had lunch with the BAPS, we deliberated and watched a movie, we shopped BAP Style, we had Olive Garden BAP style. Then it all went downhill, see, these enents were fine with Shellby.
We returned to my house to discover that my roommate Tom was having a party with all my friends from last year there. It was totally odd considering I have purposely isolated myself from this group. I just feel like i have moved past them. Anyway, Shellby mingled a bit then laid downand read a book. I played cards and caught myself up on the people of my past. It was total nostalgia and kind of fun, but all too eery for me. I talked to my ex-bst friend Laura along time and explained how we needed to move foward and not backwards. I think it was an event of closure for most of those people, an event of opening for some.
My friend Anna has been so great lately. She dates my roommate, Tom, and she is actually intellectual and open to new things. I love her loud, opinionated ways and enjoy her philosophies on things. The night brought us closer togehter as we were the most rational about things. It ended with me talking to David, telling him i miss B/C, then me putting up an away message saying “I miss B/C, but David i still love you.” Needless to say, he retaliated with “Stop that, it’s gross”.
The next morning, Shellby left after getting her stuff together, she said she had fun, but i was skeptical. I went grocery shopping and took a nap. All my friends were at B/C Fest and since i was banned from the place I felt alienated from the days events. I guess those are the breaks though. Anyway, once the day passed by and night came my plans sped up.
Aubrie, Lindsay S., Joey, Brian Wilson and David (309) all joined me in my car for a lot of driving. We were looking for parties but found nothing. Our quest was Washington St, though none of us knew where it was. The funny part was that when we found it i was taking Aubrie to my house to pee. I live right off of Washington, lol. Anyhow, we found a party and our group became split. Joey wanted to go home, David and Brian drank in the car, Aubrie was MIA (drifting between people) while Lindsay and I met all the people at the party.
The catch of the night was this kid named Taylor. He was hot, straight, drunk, and talkign about how he was in the air force. I was enthralled with every word he said, even though he wanted Lindsay. At one point, I was commenting on a certain BIB and upon explanation he figured out i was gay and we all laughed. it was funny because he hadn’t figured it out till then and he felt stupid i think. I found it adorable.
Anyway, the other guys all go twhiney and i tookt hem home, then returned to the party (i was DD) to get Lindsay and Aubs, we three left, picke dback up David and Brian and escaped to Sunshine Cafe for the best tasting food ever. I loved it!!! I came home and apologized to David for the previous nights IM stuff. I told him that when i drink i just get lonely and he replied with nothing but , “yeah”.
Sunday was a total frumpy day. I watached a good movie, ate lunch, and got interviewed by my friend Debbie. She is writing an artical about me and how i was kicked from the dorms and about how i have over come stuff in my life in general. I love talking about me sometimes, and this indepth personal interview was fun.
Then David and Aubrie showed up to get some stuff they had left in my car the previous night. David seemed out of it, so did Aubrie. David noticed my door as well, a picture of me saying welcome to Adam’s world, then accompanying pictures of shetlands, apple juice and David himself with labels underneath (hence shetlands, apple juice and 309). He noticed but showed no reaction really. It kind of pissed me off, like i wanted him to be like, “is the necessary” or soemthing like that.
It all reminded me of a question he asked me the other day. I told him i was writign an english paper about him and he questioned if he was really that important in my life. I told him he was this year but not on the grand scale of things. i think that may have been a lie. he is totally important on the grand scheme, not because i have a great relationship with him, but because i have realized that i create my relationships iwth guys because of seeing my relationship with him. I still find him utterly irresistible though.
The lack of BAP on Sat and Sun was sad, and i forced to wonder if the era is over. God i hope not, cause i love those two more then my life. I think we just need to pull together and regroup soon. That’s the end for now, stayed tuned!!!