i realize my lack of updates this past week, it’s cause i was at home with no computer, sorry bout that.  It turned out to be a really weird weekend.  I just thought about too much too fast.  It started Thrusday when i went home to puzzle building with Megan and chilling with her for a bit.  This turned into an overnight event, followed by a day of sleeping on friday.

Friday night was highly emotional, as I watched the start of a very depressing movie called “The Good Girl”.  I thought i was gonna die.  I fled in terror and began prophosizing about death to myself and getting all depressed and psyched out.  this was slightly remedy by a run in with my pal barb, but then driven worse when i heard Journey (a Doug band) in the car.  Life sucked that night.  I watched One Hour photo and cried thinking my life is so empty emotionally.  It isn’t really, but it was a mood.  I saw myself stalking people when i was older, dreamign that they cared about me.  What else is new?  Can you say 309?

Saturday was job searching time and party night.  Job searching was boring, i wanted to die.  The party was awesome at Megans, but this 48 year old was all about me when he got drunk and it made me scared and uncomfortable.  I fled in terror.  Ont he plus side, there was a former male stripper there who danced for me. 

My sister was around this weekend.  She rocks, and she is so strong and cool.  I LOVE AMBER!!!!

Anyway, sunday was back to BSU and more nothingness.  my life is becoming lame, I wish i had something good to hold onto.  I mean, i know friends are there and all, but it’s a craving for something deeper then that, like, i want to spend a night just talking for hours to people.  I love those talks.  i miss heather, she was good at those.  I miss Doug, he makes me think and want to be alive.  i’m holding onto reality from a thread of dental floss.


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