i realize my lack of updates this past week, it’s cause i was at home with no computer, sorry bout that. It turned out to be a really weird weekend. I just thought about too much too fast. It started Thrusday when i went home to puzzle building with Megan and chilling with her for a bit. This turned into an overnight event, followed by a day of sleeping on friday.
Friday night was highly emotional, as I watched the start of a very depressing movie called “The Good Girl”. I thought i was gonna die. I fled in terror and began prophosizing about death to myself and getting all depressed and psyched out. this was slightly remedy by a run in with my pal barb, but then driven worse when i heard Journey (a Doug band) in the car. Life sucked that night. I watched One Hour photo and cried thinking my life is so empty emotionally. It isn’t really, but it was a mood. I saw myself stalking people when i was older, dreamign that they cared about me. What else is new? Can you say 309?
Saturday was job searching time and party night. Job searching was boring, i wanted to die. The party was awesome at Megans, but this 48 year old was all about me when he got drunk and it made me scared and uncomfortable. I fled in terror. Ont he plus side, there was a former male stripper there who danced for me.
My sister was around this weekend. She rocks, and she is so strong and cool. I LOVE AMBER!!!!
Anyway, sunday was back to BSU and more nothingness. my life is becoming lame, I wish i had something good to hold onto. I mean, i know friends are there and all, but it’s a craving for something deeper then that, like, i want to spend a night just talking for hours to people. I love those talks. i miss heather, she was good at those. I miss Doug, he makes me think and want to be alive. i’m holding onto reality from a thread of dental floss.