So it’s been a long day, though I didn’t really accomplish anything at all.  I woke up hungover from last nights drinking, not that that’s anything new, but I felt like I wasn’t suppose to be feeling like shit and that I needed to start moving in order to overcome the mind numbing trance that my bed was still calling out to me.  Anyway, i got dressed and drove to Alexandria where I deposited some money in the bank, then I drove home and started playing Donkey Kong Country which consumed my entire days basically aside from a brief trip to Wal-Mart and some roller blading, both of which were with Beth.  Aside from this, my mind has been stuck in the past today for no real reason other then I can’t help but think of old friends who I have become detached from for various reasons.  Sometimes your time with someone ends, but the things you accomplished together never dissappear.  Anyway, I did some writing and here’s what I got…


I can’t sleep tonight


and I can’t sleep tonight
cause my yesterdays aren’t done with my old soul
yeah I am deep inside
this thick whipped whirlpool, spinning out of control
and I can see her talking to me
like a monologue she says
simply that she needs some cooling
it may be a couple days


and I can’t sleep tonight
I’m laying down on glass and steel and coals
and if I scream it might
awaken someone down the hall who knows
that I can see their snide behavior
and I worship their control
I am cut out from their circle
like I never should have known


and I can’t sleep tonight
cause I see liquor bottles filled to full
and I will swim and die
amongst this thick nauseating smell
and I can see me talking slowly
all my words begin to slur
if I black out no one holds me
when I wake up it’s just one more turn


and I can’t sleep tonight
cause there’s a fire outside my window
it’s left over from a fight
from a war that has no heroes
except for one who knows my heart
and if it ends he won’t take part
in helping me to slowly start
to finally fall asleep


and I can’t sleep tonight, so perhaps you could help me….


DEPTH


So we’re allowed to mime the actions
but if we break those boundaries hell will let loose
and I can’t say this retraction
that I’ve displayed of late is anything I wanted to do
but lets allow this wheel to flatten out and be a square
and you will see that it won’t keep on rolling
it just falls as we gasp and stare


I don’t like waiting for September
you don’t like my cold blunt truths
but we both like the way we feel
when the other stops to pause and steal
that glance that proves that feelings are real
but then it dies, it lies, it kills


and I’d guess when you read this
that you’ll know it’s about you
and I won’t care about that discovery
because it’s just the truth
that while once I thought I knew the world,
I’ve learned from some old sleuth
that you can’t just jump once off the end
to know what depth can do


Reflections


I hate my reflection, my bloodshot eyes
I can’t understand these rhetorical lies
That I’ve documented slowly, only to find
They can stand on their own with out passion


I hate my reflection, Don’t let that ass in
He will drink, he will smoke and he’ll do both again
But he’ll smile when you hope that he’s been knocked on down
He’s a unicycling, flame eating, ringmaster clown


I hate my reflection because he wants me to
It’s easier to choose a movie when no one likes you
Cause you go by yourself and the seats don’t have to come in twos
And I don’t have to get so many popcorn refills


I hate my reflection when he goes to sleep
Cause he sees this warped future, this warped nightmare dream
Where he isn’t alone with this dumb flock of sheep
There are other wolves hunting as well


I hate my reflection, but don’t break that glass
Cause cracked glass looks back and smiles
Looks back and smiles while you pass
away and join the worms beneath the earth
while glass still plagues the streets
broken sharp and hungry, embedding itself deep


I hate my reflection, and I tried to flip him off
but he just flipped me off right back
and smiled and laughed and laughed and laughed

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