It’s humid, I am burning up, I am dirty and sticky and thunder and lightening have just begun to appear in the sky. It’s going to rain. I’ve just sat and read up on my friends lives, looked at people’s Xangas, old and new entries, and it always makes me feel good. I am often considered to be harsh and overly judgemental. Sometimes I am, sometimes I think I just have a better understanding of life, sometimes I think I am wrong but I have carried this personality with me for so long that I have to keep up a facade. I don’t find myself getting romantically involved with people very often, partly because I know what I want and don’t see any reasons to waste time with people who are only half of what I want. In my Management class the other day, we talked about how young people get into all these relationships where they are hoping for change, hoping for the other person to blossom into something spectacular or hoping that they can change into what the other person wants. Hence the high divorce rate in this country. When it comes down to it, why would I want to start a relationship with someone when I don’t like them, just when I like the person they could be. It makes sense to me to let that person change naturally on their own and then to come find me. Or why would I want to change for someone else? Maybe the new person I become won’t want the partner I have changed for.
I’ve had a lot of good friends over the years and I hate when I loose people. People can just out grow each other, people can be at different points in their lives and not be able to connect, people can stop being friends because they can’t ever express themselves hole heartedly without the other person getting all pissed off. People can realize that they are using each other, a concept that I sometimes feel is the basis of a majority of friendships, and when you’ve taken what you needed, you leave. People can need you. You can need those people back. People can move away and you not talk to them, and then move back and you are best pals again, people can change and become what you wanted them to become over night, and you may realize it’s the last thing you needed.
I may have never been in a romantic relationship, but I know these things to be true. Love is a wild animal, but it still lives, feeds and dies, just like the rest of us.