So I guess things are back to normal for me. I hate when I loose control of reality and become something I am not. I don’t like to loose control and be extra optimistic over nothing, but that’s what I always do. And while I don’t think I am a total crab of a person in general, I do think that I am just more comfortable expecting the worst, which is a little sad in itself.

So I haven’t talked to my parents in over two weeks. Our last meeting was when I went home for my dad to check out my car and all he had to say to me was that my hair was too long. Screw that. It’s not that I don’t care about my parents, and it’s not that they don’t care about me, it’s just that we live in two entirely different worlds and they have never tried to take a look at where I am or who I am for that matter. In my management class I get so pissed cause all of our assignments include sections where you have to talk about your family and your relationships with them. Well, I don’t have much of a relationship with my family because they haven’t wanted one. They don’t care about what’s going on with me. Or at least they don’t convey that care. Most people have parents who they talk to several time a week. I have been at college for 4.5 years and my parents have never called me to ask how my day was or how things are going. They call if they need me to come home and they call if it’s about money. That’s all.

People often wonder why I come across as harsh, tough, bitter or uncaring. I have been emotionally alone since middle school. That’s how I feel. And so yeah, maybe I do get excited about loosing that solitary prison, but wouldn’t anyone?


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