Everyone else’s Xanga’s are so inspirational when I read them, but mine are just getting plain chaotic. So yesterday I talked to my little sister online for a good bit. I haven’t been home or spoken to and of my family (except my dad once on the phone) in almost a month. Do I feel guilty about this? Not really. They haven’t contacted me either, and I don’t see any reason to burden them with my problems. When it comes down to it, I’m just not that big on the value of family. My friends have become more my family to me. I think maybe I set this up on purpose. I am never gonna have kids, I am never gonna have a huge family of my own, so I figure I need to improvise, put friends first, that way I have them later in life. My friends are my family.

This weekend provided me with some common sense I guess. He’s not into me. Now, I could rely on this silly book that anyone with a vagina is talking about (see Beth’s recent Xanga’s to get my point). But I’m sorry, any book called “He’s just not into you” is too derogatory. It belittles and doesn’t let hope or love exist. Screw that. I am gonna keep fighting the good fight in hopes of at least making a really good friend if nothing else.

I would liek to report that my usage of illegal substances is way down. In fact, it’s gotten to the point where I am not even wanting to do it now just because I have been doing well without it. Maybe I am just kidding myself, but I think I’ve been in a good mood as of late. Or at least better then before. Nothing has really changed about me though, except that I have met someone I like a lot and I have stopped excessive smoking. So I think those two things combined just lifted my spirits.

This wednesday is Geoff’s birthday. Mr.Mouse, be there or be square, but don’t get drunk and screw around on a bathroom floor. Peace out dudes.


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