So tonight I talked about a lot of interesting things with my friends. I don’t know why, but for some reason these issues all kept striking a nerve with me. For starters, we discussed how the university president is jewish and how she may or may not have an opposition to decorating the campus for christmas. I think this is totally bogus. I don’t care if she celebrates the holiday or not. For starters, if she wants to put up a menora or something all over campus, then she should. That’s cool too. But so is a Christmas Tree. Second, the christmas holiday has to do with religion and the last time I looked there wasn’t silver and gold bulbs or ice skating snowmen in the bible. No, these decorations are more to celebrate a holiday spirit and a festive feeling that units friends and family for one night of the year. Stop being a scrooge and stop making issues out of decorations whench.
Secodn on my rant for the night is the future. We talked a little bit about how we think of an age when our generation will have kids. I mean, the average seems to be up from what it was like for our parents, but what age is it good to have children? Well, some said 30, some said 35. I said I didn’t want a baby, just a little kid who would be fun and talk to me and be a person. Then I was informed my kid wouldn’t live that long cause they’d end up drowned, missing, or playing in the oven. Well, who knows. But then I got into thought about it, and I figured I’ll probably never have kids anyway so I shouldn’t worry. It was sort of a sad thought, cause kids create your family. I don’t really have family cause I’ve distanced myself from my own. My friends ARE my family. I guess that’s why they are so important to me.
Next we talked about scolarships for athletes. Now while I don’t really give a damn about sports, I do think they are necessary in today’s university society, just because of the predispositioned attitude we have towards sports. It is sad that someone gets free schooling cause they can knock someone down, and not because they are really smart. But then again, maybe it’s just that the really smart kids don’t go to Ball State. Their scholarships take them to good schools. At any rate, I am not smart or athletic so I get nothing.
Last but not least, I was possed with a debate someone had in class. If someone buys their male child a G.I. Joes, but also an easy bake oven and a vaccum, does that make them have a better chance at being gay? I think this is ridiculous. I think being gay is a chemical embalanced triggered by heightened emotional periods in which females are who you learn to cope from. Just a thought. At any rate, I found it funny that someone asked me this to my face, not because it was rude or anything, but just because people don’t usually come up to you and say “Oh Adam, why are you gay?” Like I know.
All I know was that I found myself in deep thought on a number of issues and I felt really alone about things. Also, the mention of V-Cards (which I am a card carrier) made me slightly aggitated. I am 22, why have I never dated? And why am I constany giving all emotional attachment to guys who just aren’t going to give it back? I hate it. I hate that I am imcapable of being realistic. But why should I have to be? If I know what I want, then why can’t I just love someone who is that? Why do I have to feel so limited to a group of people who I am not comfortable attaching myself to. It’s just not fair. Fuck it, I’ll just be the butler.