Today we talked in my American Literature class about great writers. We talked about how the classics, stuff by Poe, Ginsberg, Plath, Dickinson and so many others is just really good stuff that people can’t stop analyzing. We also talked about how most of these writers were crazy. in fact, my teachers wife is writing a book about how writers always seem to go crazy or write because they are crazy and it’s the only way they can get their thoughts out. Now, as someone who would like to be considered a writer, I find myself wondering why. Will I go crazy?

This weekend was exceptionally awesome. Friday was sort of a guys night. I even suggested playing poker, but DeSutter shot that idea down like a bird in Duck Hunt. So anyway, Kyle Truitt and Patrick and myself and Geoff and DeSutter all went to Chili’s for dinner and had a good time. The waitress was all about our table and Patrick’s fluffiliciousness. Back at the LP Kyle and Patrick had a lovers quarrel and left quickly, leaving Nick, Geoff and I to watch over a newly arrived baby Irish. Jessica got hammered. Lets just say small girl trapped inside a bee costume and swinging her arms all around in panic. HILLARIOUS. I drank sparks that night, the alcoholic energy drink. Needless to say, i stayed up late. In addition, I did a lot of chew that night. I like doing it while I drink. It keeps me steady and relaxed. The night also included some dogs. yes dogs. The cutest chiuauaua ever to be alive actually. I wanted to keep it. We also met the new neighbors, 6 guys from Israel. they are really nice for the most part, and just looking to have fun. I think the highlight of the evening though was just talking with people. I got a lot off my head that night, and i am thankful that I have friends who give me company to do that with. I talked with Nick for a really long time, just about moving on from school and finding love. Most people probably wouldn’t think of DeSutter as having such a personal and emotional conversation, but what can I say, I bring out the best in everyone. lol. I think more realistically I just find it easy to talk to Nick and he finds it easy to talk to me. oh and we were drunk.

Saturday I spent the whole day at home creating my Halloween costume. I went as AOL Instant Messenger, wearing all yellow and then a big IM box around my neck. It was a fairly successful costume. I got lots of compliments, which is always night. The night started simple with just a few of us (Geoff, Kinder, Linds, Aubs and I) going to Megan’s for a little party. Seeing as how they were all on ‘shrooms though, we left. The bars were in mind as we set out, but we made sure to invite our new Israeli friends too. DeSutter had gone home unfortunately. I think he has Hallo-phobia. Anyway, the bars weren’t too crowded and we saw lots of people we knew there. I had issues with the mobility of my costume a few times, but it worked out in the long run.

Sunday went well with me just cruising the town to find a few things to make my costume better. I also did homework and played some X-Men Legends. It had been a while. The evening came and an ensemble cast of my friends all went to Andrew Brooks’ Halloween party. I had so much fun. I managed to only piss one person off there, didn’t get too drunk and I wasn’t bitchy at all. That’s right, i lost my edge for an evening apparently. but don’t worry, i’m sure something will piss me off again soon.

I guess today is just one of those quiet rainy days. and it’s making me think a lot about my friends and graduating and stuff. I think if you need to clean out your rolodex of friends, or reorganize your buddy list to move some people down to the bottom then do it. I think you should stop bullshitting with so many people. I think sometimes you just out grow certain people and certain places, or maybe you realize why you found that place. Or maybe you just see the you’ve learned what you could and got everything out of a place.

I think if you love someone you should tell them. even if your sure they already know, even if you know it’s a pointless love, even if you can barely speak the words cause you are so baffled by that feeling the person gives you. Just say it. I’ll be the first person to say that love sucks, cause you can’t control it. It grows where it shouldn’t, where you thought it couldn’t and wouldn’t. It’s ridiculous. It’s like the emotion on crack. It’s out of control, but it feels nice to just know that you have a connection with someone because they make you feel comfortable. I don’t think love is something about sex. I think love is knowing someone and trusting someone and feeling like that person understands where you are coming from and wanting to spend time with that someone. Love isn’t about male or female, hot or ugly, gay or straight, love is about wanting to wake up and see someone. Love is about sharing your thoughts and ideas. Love is about not feeling alone. and I like that part of love. the other stuff, the sex and stuff, that’s just something I’d do for someone I loved. so go love someone. tell them you love them. damn that came out of no where.


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