I’ve officially decided that I am a loser. Not matter what I seem to do, I always end up feeling the same way about my current situation. I feel trapped. I can’t find a job, even though I’ve applied for hundreds. No one calls me back, or at least not that often. It’s embarassing when people ask what I am doing these days. And I know it takes time to get that first job, but I have friends who have already found it. What did I do wrong? Did I party too much in college and not focus on connections and being involved enough? I’m creative and smart, i got good grades, i guess that just wasn’t enough. Maybe I should go back to school. Get myself even more in debt so I can never be free of the government wanting my money. Maybe I should move to another area, be on my own. But what if I end up horribly sad and poor and miserable. I want to be a risk taker, but i’ve always been oddly sensible. i feel to young to be having to make decisions this serious about life. i’m going no where. i’ve fucked up somewhere. i don’t know what to do.