I’ve officially decided that I am a loser.  Not matter what I seem to do, I always end up feeling the same way about my current situation.  I feel trapped.  I can’t find a job, even though I’ve applied for hundreds.  No one calls me back, or at least not that often.  It’s embarassing when people ask what I am doing these days.  And I know it takes time to get that first job, but I have friends who have already found it.  What did I do wrong?  Did I party too much in college and not focus on connections and being involved enough?  I’m creative and smart, i got good grades, i guess that just wasn’t enough.  Maybe I should go back to school.  Get myself even more in debt so I can never be free of the government wanting my money.  Maybe I should move to another area, be on my own.  But what if I end up horribly sad and poor and miserable.  I want to be a risk taker, but i’ve always been oddly sensible.  i feel to young to be having to make decisions this serious about life.  i’m going no where.  i’ve fucked up somewhere.  i don’t know what to do.


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