On where I’ve been

        It’s true.  I do have a drinking problem, and I don’t really know what to do about it.  I mean, I don’t get mean or out of control, I just drink almost every day of my life.  If I’m not drinking one night, I am either working or doing something else mind altering.  It’s just easier I guess to escape to that numbness and not have to be me.  I am poor, I am tired, I am lonely, and I feel like I’ve failed in a lot of ways.  I have let people down by just waiting tables and bartending, and I know people say things behind my back about it all.  I am not naieve.  I am not embarassed by what I do for a living, I just know there is more for me out there and I am not putting in my all to find it.  Instead I’ve been drinking.  A lot.  I have 26 beers in the course of 7 hours last night, taking one hour off to participate in other activities.  It was insanity.

       In other news,  I am still pathetically single and alone.  I don’t even like considering dating cause it’s always a dissappointing painful ordeal.  I know you can’t just have a perfect relationship out of nowhere, but come on.  My friend Brittney says I am too picky about who I will date.  I think that’s crap because I don’t always go for the best looking people or anything, I just go for individuals who have a personality.  I did talk to Zach the other night for a few hours.  He made the comment that I would probably write about it in my blog.  I guess he was right.  He knows I am still madly in love with him, it’s all just a joke to him though.  I should know better then to even call him anymore.  It’s just a no win situation.

       The comic book collection is going well.  Led Zeppelin is still everywhere in my life.  Things with Patrick have been going better and all in all I am pretty much the same person, when you catch me not being drunk.  Or maybe I’m not the same.  I don’t know.  I’m depressed.

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2 thoughts on “On where I’ve been

  1. Adam – I miss you and as much as I wish I could write with a cure all snippet of advice, I doubt that would help. Of course, you know how I feel about it – MOVE TO PORTLAND. Three reasons why: 1. We also have beer, so if you’d like to remain an alcoholic – we have enough microbrews to make it a fairly enjoyable experience, for however long this phase lasts. 2. We have marijuana. Better marijuana – which can make any situation look better. 3. We have more gay men than cars and if traffic is any indication of the number…. well, your single status would end quickly. Just some thoughts. Not serious of course, but you know you are always welcome here! Miss you lots.

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  2. Your not dissapointing anyone…that’s in your head. But I don’t know what else to tell you than to put down the damn booze. Obviously you are smart enough to recognize a problem so you should also be smart enough to stop the problem. It sucks- because you will probably have to re-arrange your life and those you hang out with. Maybe not completely but maybe you should take a step away from those who do nothing but drink with you. Still listen to Zeppelin though. 🙂 Pull yourself up Adam because as much as I or any of us klan members would love to do it for you we can’t! Love you buddie.

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