It’s true. I do have a drinking problem, and I don’t really know what to do about it. I mean, I don’t get mean or out of control, I just drink almost every day of my life. If I’m not drinking one night, I am either working or doing something else mind altering. It’s just easier I guess to escape to that numbness and not have to be me. I am poor, I am tired, I am lonely, and I feel like I’ve failed in a lot of ways. I have let people down by just waiting tables and bartending, and I know people say things behind my back about it all. I am not naieve. I am not embarassed by what I do for a living, I just know there is more for me out there and I am not putting in my all to find it. Instead I’ve been drinking. A lot. I have 26 beers in the course of 7 hours last night, taking one hour off to participate in other activities. It was insanity.
In other news, I am still pathetically single and alone. I don’t even like considering dating cause it’s always a dissappointing painful ordeal. I know you can’t just have a perfect relationship out of nowhere, but come on. My friend Brittney says I am too picky about who I will date. I think that’s crap because I don’t always go for the best looking people or anything, I just go for individuals who have a personality. I did talk to Zach the other night for a few hours. He made the comment that I would probably write about it in my blog. I guess he was right. He knows I am still madly in love with him, it’s all just a joke to him though. I should know better then to even call him anymore. It’s just a no win situation.
The comic book collection is going well. Led Zeppelin is still everywhere in my life. Things with Patrick have been going better and all in all I am pretty much the same person, when you catch me not being drunk. Or maybe I’m not the same. I don’t know. I’m depressed.