Because I drank Patron.

    Like most Saturdays, I got up and got ready for work.  It’s a bummer really, having to work all week at my job, getting up at 6:30 and dealing with traffic, and then not getting to enjoy two weekend days of not getting up early.  Granted when I work at Big Daddies I don’t get up till 9:15, but that’s not the point.  Anyway, I worked all morning and it was very dull.  Slow business due to the cancelled poker tounarments.  I’m not liking the decline in tips.  I got off work and sat at the bartop, checked me phone and found something suprising.  A phone message from Anna Frasier.  Now I haven’t seen her in a while, so I called back immediately and the plans were made.  I would be going out downtown with Anna, Sarah and Megan Wheat who was in town visiting.  I waited a little longer at Big Daddies, sang a song with the band (Pink Houses by John Cougar) and headed off for what would be an excellent adventure.

        We started out at The Slippery Noodle Inn.  Now I always love going to this place because there are a million different rooms it seems.  I always feel like I am somewhere new.  The girls were there along with Anna’s roommate Brian, his friend….uhm…..lets call him Seth, and a girl named Stephanie.  Upon my arrival, Sarah felt it necessary to start everything off with Patron shots  UGH!  I just don’t do tequilla.  This night would be an exception and while I didn’t think I’d be able to contain myself, I did.  This was quickly followed by a Buttery Crown shot, a Jager Bomb and beer.  The place was packed of course for the weekend, and Seth felt it was essential that we move to an outdoor table.  We re-congregated and I laughed hopelessly at Stephanie who spilt the same beer at least 4 times.  Anyhow, our new table was drenched so we left.

       Our next stop was infamous “Six”.  Talk about a dump.  I was worried at first because I had on tennis shoes and jeans, so did Anna’s roommate.  Seth started talking to the girl at the door, and suddenly I had on a “Milk Bar” wrist band.  I walked in to what seemed like a pretty boring place.  No one seemed to be having fun here.  I followed Seth into the supposed “Milk Bar” private area and waited for drinks.  Someone bought me one, but the beers were extremely over priced.  Everything in the room I was in was white.  The leather couch, the bar stools, everything.  I leaned against one of the couches while talking to Sarah and I was told I wasn’t allowed to lean there.  You must be kidding.  I then noticed the actual couch had burn marks all over it from stupid idiots dropping their cigarettes on it.  This place sucked.  Rude security, burnt couches, over priced drinks, bad music.  Nothing was hip in this place.  I announced I had to leave, this place was jank. 

      We wandered out into the street where we realized we had lost Brian and Seth, but gained some chick named Kimmy.  She led us to a place called “The Wild Beaver” whose name alone made me think it was a lesbian bar.  It wasn’t, and actually looked more like a Lumber Jacks lodge.  This place was cool.  They had good music, corn hole on the sidewalk out front and outdoor tables.  I sat outside with Sarah and Kimmy while watching the others toss beanbags at the corn hole game.  Kimmy started talking about one her friend, a gay guy whose parents hated him.  She insisted that my parents must hate me, and I stopped her.  My parents love me.  Not all gay people have the same family problems.  She got pissed at this comment and began to cry.  I was just as confused as you are, really.  She started yelling.  “You are an un-caring bastard.  My friend has such a hard life.  He found out he is dying of AIDS you jerk!”  With this, Kimmy stood up, walked over to me, shoved my barstool over and ran down the road screaming in tears.  I stood up, brushed myself off, looked at everyone who was just as bewildered as me and then drank my beer.  The manager asked if I was ok and got me a free beer, and Kimmy was never seen again.

       We left the Beaver because it was last call.  I had no clue what time it was.  We headed for the next bar, i can’t remember what it’s name was, but there was lots of red lighting.  I feel as if I saw someone I knew there, but I can’t really remember.  Brian met back up with us and I convenved at a table, enjoying the final hours of our intoxicated states.  The bar closed, we caught a cab and went to Anna’s.  Once there I insisted on leaving for home.  It was a small debate, but of course I won.  I had to walk about 15 minuts to my car.  I found it and turned it on, it was 5:15.  I laughed and began driving, probably not a good idea, but I did it anyway.  I arrived home, went to bed and that was my Saturday night.

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