My Cell Phone is Emmitting Radiation

   So, I plugged my cell phone in to charge last night before I went to bed as usual.  This mornin, I go to use it and the stupid thing is shut off.  I turn it back on, but it freezes on the stupid Samsung welcoming screen.  My exterior display is solid white and lit up.  Of course I tried the usual, take out the battery, remove the sim card, throw it off a two story building in hopes of jiggling the problem away, but none of the worked.  So I got online

   The messages boards at Cingular and Samsung are terrifying to say the least.  I quickly realized that everyone on their was mentally insane, most likely from trying to solve problems with their own cell phones.  Anyhow, the most popular suggestion was to let my phone stay un-plugged form the charger, but still turned on to the welcome screen.  Apparently some peoples phones began operating correctly when this happened.  So, I am doing just that.  It’s been on for about an hour and when I last went to check on it the phone was really warm.  It’s on my desk and I am 94% sure it’s rendering me sterile as I am typing this.  I want it to explode so I can claim I am scared and go home from work early, and also possibly win a lawsuit against not only Samsung but Cingular as well.  It’s possible. 

   In other news, I am broke this weekend, so if anyone wants to just come over and hang out, call me.  Talk to you kids later!  I just realized, you can’t call me, so just show up.  Or e-mail me or IM me or something.

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