I can’t handle this anymore! I can’t do it. Life just sucks so freakin’ much right now and I don’t know why! Lets go day by day and see how things are. On Friday my stomach was kind of upset so I came home after work and took a nap, I did laundry and I cleaned the apartment a bit. Around 7:30 I rolled down to Big Daddies where I had a total of 7 Bud Lights and after not feling a buzz annoyingly I got two Jager bombs. I sat there till 1:30, and left. I slept, got up, felt like crap, had an upset stomach still and crapped continuously through out the morning. I went to bartend at Big Daddies, but left around 1:00 because I felt so bad. I went home, slept, and didn’t do much that night except play boardgames with friends. I took several aspirin because my back molar was bothering me now.
Sunday I went to my mom’s for Mother’s day and to my older sisters graduation. All day I was complaining about my tooth, my new wisdom tooth apparently, that was busting through my gums and causing a lot of pain. I scheduled a dentist appointment on Monday morning at 7:00am and e-mailed my boss to let her know I’d be late. I go to the appointment and they say they can’t do anything but perscribe me pain killers and an antibiotic because my gum is inflamed. Great. They make me schedule a consultation with an oral surgeon, meanwhile I still can’t talk without pain, can’t chew and it hurts to close me mouth all the way, but that’s ok because i have pain killers. Vicodin to be precise, which makes me trippy, dizzy and over-all exhausted. I leave the dentist appointment and head to work, taking a pain killer on the way so I won’t be in pain all day while at the Red Cross. I get there and stay for about an hour. I am shaking, freaking out and feeling overly ill because of the Vicodin. I go home and sleep, then get online and do nothing all night aside from chat with my sister who came over. Thanks Shelbs!
Tuesday I get ready for work and get ready to walk out the door. I e-mail my boss and tell her my efectivness on these pills is no guaruntee as they make me a zombie basically, she gets irritated at me and tells me she will take care of everything today. I stay home and so e-mail work, attempting to get some stuff accomplished. I am tired of feeling like crap and just want out of my house so I don’t take any pills after noon. I head to Big Daddies for a steak dinner and cranberry juice but suprise I can’t chew it and everyone there looks at me like i’m a leper because I was sick Saturday and drugged up now because of my wisdom tooth. I leave, barely eating because I am uncomfortable and I can’t chew anyhow. I come home and here I am, not wanting to take this pill, but feelign like crap and thinking my jaw is on fire. GULP.
Tomorrow I have a “consoltation” where I won’t get my teeth taken care of I’m sure and I will feel like shit for lord knows how long. I hate everything. On top of this, I just am not happy these days. I’m lonely, have no friends really, and don’t do much to improve my life because it’s easier to ignore everything. I’m just down.