So, I joined a writing contest online called Super Hero American Idol. You basically pick a character and then write stories about the character. I chose Jubilee. The first entry was to be “Why Youer Hero Should Be Superhero Idol. I thought I’d share what I submitted.
When I hear the words “SuperHero Idol” three things totally come to my mind. They’re the qualities that allow a super-hero to be super. There what separates the champions from the total dweebs, because trust me, not everyone can pull off wearing spandex. The three things are experience, fighting integrity and marketability.
When I was with the X-Men I took on so many super-flunkies that I had trouble remembering who they were. Yeah, I could have studied up using the Professor’s files, but usually when the villain appears he talks so much that he re-tells your last encounter with him. Or her, if it’s one of those super-bimbo types. Anyway, American’s need to be able to see that you’ve done it all, and I have from space aliens to giant robots to totally bogus other dimensional blobs who walk around on tiny little legs, cough Mojo cough. But really, your typical American won’t understand this, they’d say “What’s a freakin’ Shi’ar?” I’ve also battled mafia types, rotten mall security guards and ninjas, and who can’t relate to or love a story with ninjas.
Next is your fighting integrity, and if the danger room has taught me one thing it’s that a girl’s gotta stay on her toes in order to wear an X on her belt. You’ve gotta be diverse. I’ve kept up on my gymnast abilities, and not in some cheesy “oh look I’ve sprang my ankle but I can still stick this landing while tears run down my face” way. I’ve practiced hard, incorporating things like skateboards and roller blades into my act. Can you do a flip wearing roller blades? Eat your heart out Evil Knievel. It’s my way of surviving, being fast and frivolous. And then there are my Pyrotechnics. My powers get described to me differently all the time. They’re fireworks, no plasmoids, no energy burst, no, no I’m slightly telepathic. I just look at these fanboys and say geez-o-peez guys, my name’s Jubilee, I blow stuff up! Keep it simple will ya!
Last but not least is marketability. You have to be able to get your name out and properly represent if you’re the SuperHero Idol. And I can do that. Who else could wear a big yellow coat while stopping evil? These babies could be in the GAP tomorrow for all we know. Everyone will want one. And the pink sunglasses, Sunglass Hut’s already calling for the rights to mass produce these. Look at it the obvious way, I’ve been in two animated series, two movies, and don’t get me started on the Jubsters stellar X-Men Legends appearance. I am what the public needs, spunk, enthusiasm and bright colors baby.
So the next time someone says “Do you think Jubilee should be the next SuperHero Idol?” be sure you say, “Does a mall babe eat chili fries?”