So wake up this morning, disoriented as a new born baby. I claw at the air as the sun invades my eye. It hurts. I know I don’t have time to be sleeping in, I need to get moving. I spring out of bed as fast as I can hoping to ignite some sense of adrenaline, instead I pull something. A calf muscle, a tendon, I don’t know. I gimp over to the bathroom to strech which makes my leg feel better. I look in the mirror. I know it’s gonna be a long day. My shower was relaxing, but not long enough. I got dressed with ease, but I wasn’t impressed by my own clothes. I tried to add a song to my iPod so I could listen to it on my drive in. Eyes Without a Face by Billy Idol, what a creepy song. Anyhow, I am successful at this and I head out to my car.
I head out of my apartment, knowing i’m already 5 minutes late. I head down the road, only to find a mass cluster of cars. No one’s moving. What is going on? I then notice a flashing red light, a train is loading new cargo. What a stupid time for this. I quickly peel out of the line and head back the other way. Unfortunately so did a million other people so I am again just sitting in place. A dump truck pulls off to the side and blocks our whole lane. He is dumping dirt in someone’s front yard. Again, why are we doing this doing rush hour? I finally make it to a road where I can make my gas pedal feel useful. I begin crusing, I call my boss and say I will be in ASAP. I look at the open road. I glance at the hood of my car. SOMEONE STOLE MY FUCKING HOOD ORNAMENT! Who steals a hood ornament? I run scenarios through my mind of running into the chode-faced deuche bag. I’d see the ornament dangling around his ghetto fab neck. I’d rip it off, “This is mine you piece of shit!” In truth I’d probably just roll my eyes at him and make a comment, then get beat up. What a bad start to my day.