ok ok, so i was interviewed by Beth, and these are the five questions in bold, my answers are in normal font.

1.  There is a fire in your house (ironic with your dad being a fireman, huh?).  Your family is guaranteed safety.  You have enough time to save only ONE artifact from your walls … which do you choose? (and I know you don’t have stuff up at home, so pretend it’s your room in B/C or at 1212)

    It took me a while, thinking about all the old stuff I had on my walls.  Nothing was really worth money, it’s all just emotionally priceless.  First of all, I’d cry forever cause that would suck.  But then after crying and being surrounded by flames, I’d grab my parents old Ball State I.D.s.   These are authentic 1979 BSU student IDs belonging to a one Timothy J. Moschell and a one Cheri L. Trefry.  They just represent a lot to me, and a lot about what my family means to me.

2.  Tell me about the last time you felt like a kid.

     After countless hours of begging I finally convinced my little sister Shellby to play video games with me.  X-Men Legends, to be precise.  When we were little we used to stay up really late playing Donkey Kong Country on SNES (that’s Super Nintendo Entertainment System).  Playing video games with her made me want to make a pile of blankets in the living room, pull out all the junk food and play games until 5:00am.

3.  You are rewarded property and money to start your own business … what kind of store do you have?  What do you sell?  Where are you located?

    Atomic Comics.  We’re located in Austrailia.  and of course we sell comics.  We also sell comic supplies, comic memrobillia, comics realted movies, and ANYTHING having to do with comics.  I’d be incredible. 

4.  BAP.  What image comes to mind when you hear that phrase?

   I immediately think of my BAP photo montage.  It’s a frame with 4 BAP pictures in it, each one representing a different sort of BAP.  One of them is Classic Bap, taken from room 314.  we’ve all been drinking, we’re all ready to drink more, and I think Tiny Dancer had just played.  Another is Classy BAP.  It’s from New Years ’04.  All dressed up with places to go, Linden Place to be precise.  The third pose is Sassy BAP.  Taken at David’s going to London party.  We all look sort of mean in this one.  I feel it highlights a very interesting dynamic.  Last but not least is New Age BAP.  It’s taken at 1212, it’s just relaxed and casual, probably the most accurate as to what we really look like too.  The frame itself has the letters BAP in side of it along with the photos and is painted Green, Red, Yellow and Blue, to represent UNO, the official BAP card game.

5.  What is the meanest thing you’ve ever comtemplated doing or saying to someone?

    The hardest question in the entire bunch, and that’s just because I usually do mean things if I think of something good.  In particular though, I once thought about setting someone’s dog free and letting it runaway.  I won’t get into why, it was really just a difference of opinion in the long run, but I was infuriated, and the culprit had retaliated against me first.  The person’s dog was always outside in the yard and I easily could have set it free without being caught.  Plus I didn’t like this particular dog.  It was ugly and always jumped on me.  But taking away someone’s pet away is really mean.  And for once in my life I had a concious.

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1. Leave me a comment saying, ‘Interview me’.
2. I will respond by asking you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. Only respond if you are willing to answer ANY question that is asked of you
4. Update your Xanga with the answers to the questions.
5. Include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
6. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

I feel as is if I want to Xanga forever tonight, but I’m not going to.  Instead, I am just going to acknowledge that I have felt like I haven’t had any goals since college, I mean, no real serious goals.  Sure I’ve wanted to find a job and support myself, but that’s far to general.  I need to have places in mind.  I need to have times and dates in mind.  I know I can’t stay in Indiana.  I need to get out of here and be somewhere else.  I’ve never been good on my own though.  My solution is simple, I must go to Aubrie.  The west coast is as good a place to start my life as anywhere else.  The problem is I need money.  I mean, I can’t just up and go.  Now, I have a job, and that’s all good and well, I mean, it’s just waiting tables, but it’s money.  And hopefully I am about to get trained as a bartender as well.  We’ll see if that happens.  Anyway, I make enough money now to go out and do stuff all the time plus pay off all of my bills.  This is were my goal comes in.  My concrete goals.  I owe $1,500 in credit card debt.  If I pay $250 a month towards credit cards I can be out of debt by the end of January.  A new year.  A time for me to leave Indiana and start a new life.  It makes sense.  I don’t want to get all wrapped up in a career here in Indiana.  This isn’t to say I’ll quit looking for one here, but in the mean time I won’t get bothered by just being  a server.  It’s going to be rough.  But I can do this.  I know I can.  Maybe if I up it to $300 I can even leave after christmas.  It won’t be that hard.  It won’t be that hard.  So my goal is to have all my credit cards paid off by the end of Janury 2006.  Am I being too eay on myself?  Maybe, but I’m young.  I don’t need to rush.  And I don’t need to stress myself out.  I don’t need to make impossible goals.  I need to make them attainable.

Asking Why

 I’m thinking about you are you thinking about me
 I’m doubting that it’s happening
 Once we were like miracles something spectacular
 now it’s just terrible you see
 I’m talking to ghost, hoping that most of your features
 are fresh in my memory
 and I feel silly to cry, I ask these phantoms why
 I’ve lost what once was close to me

CHORUS: I’ll compare what is no longer there
  to the photographs I have in frames
  And I’ll smile and think for a while
  that you’d come if I called out your name
  but I’ve tried, and I’ve felt something die
  and I’m asking why, asking why asking why.

 Are you playing cards now with somebody else
 cut from the deck all by myself
 When I fell in so deeply did I change all that much
 am I something not fit for a grown-up
 I listen to songs that we played along the way
 but nothing is happening
 I call out again, if it finds me a friend I’ve lost
 but results are deflating me

CHORUS

 There’s dates and places, fast fading faces
 my memories trying to push it away
 Movies and moments, acronym phrases
 I should learn the value of moving away
 Of realizing meaning, accepting replacing
 but I’m just so hurt to loose something
 that made feel rich beyond known human levels

CHORUS

well, i smell like Clam Chowder.  After a grouling 8 hours of serving table, it seems like i’ve bonded with some of the scents of Uno’s Pizza.  i made a lot of money in tips though, so that’s always good.  I need that money.  my college loan payment is due friday.  and then i have Best Buy and Discover the next weekend.  Bills suck.  in fact, people even just named Bill should change their name because no one likes to get a Bill.  And the connection is just not a good one.  My feet hurt…yeah yeah, it’s the bunion.  Stop laughing Beth.  Anyway, I think i get to go boating this weekend.  2nd time all year.  That’s a bummer.  I gotta cancel my AOL and restart it soon too so i can get more free service.  I need to visit 1212 this week sometime.  I mean, it’s just something I gotta so before the month is over.  Maybe Thusday night?  Any thought on Muncie people as to your plans thursday?  whelp, i think that’s all i got.  I’m gonna read comics and go to bed.

     I went to the movies tonight with 4 of my friends.  Sue and Johnny Storm, Reed Richards and Ben Grimm.  We had good time, to say the least, but that crowd always makes things fantastic.  The Fantastic Four was a phenominal movie, much to my suprise.  I was worried at first, knowing that my knit picking of detail and my harsh criticism may be enough to make the movie fall sub-par.  I was wrong.  It was hillarious, it was adventrous, it was a good story, and the effects rocked.  All in all it gets…4 stars.  4 big Fantastic stars.

    The solo movie thing is always interesting.  You show up and have to get a drink at least, otherwise you have nothing to fiddle with while you wait for the previews.  When you enter the theatre it’s easy to find a seat, you only need one, although when I go solo I usually arrive a little early, just because it’s the nature of me.  There’s the scope out.  You have to examine those around you.  Are their other solo people there?  Are you cramping someone’s date by sitting too close?  It’s just part of the rules.  When the movie starts you fine, but it can be a bit taxing waiting for the lights to go off.  You don’t want to appear totally dorky and by yourself.  Or maybe you do.  For this particular movie I felt pride in going to the film alone.  I’d asked dozens of people to see Fantastic Four with me on opening weekend.  Sadly, I asked a dozen of the wrong people because no one seemed interested.  It’s all good though.  Anyway, after the film I applauded.  I started it, and the rest of the audience joined in.  We all (the collective viewers) seemed to have enjoyed the film.  Good job Marvel for making another good one and not some shit stain of a movie like the Hulk.  That’s all I’ve got.  Later gang.

1. what is the geekiest part of your music collection? The Scooby Doo Snack Track.  It’s got the every version of the theme song and some oldies.

2. what do you eat when you raid the fridge late at night? Fruit

3. what is your secret guaranteed weeping movie? The Other Sister (with the retarded people)

4. if you could have plastic surgery, what would you have done? My nose

5. do you have a completely irrational fear? Girls

6. what is the little physical habit that gives away your insecure moments? Cracking my fingers

7. are you a pyromaniac? Not really

 8. so you have too many love interests?  I’m single.  It’s a staple for me.

9. do you know anyone famous?  That’s a big no.  But i’d like to.

10. describe your bed: Stiff and always made if i’m not in it

11. are you spontaneous or planned?  Well, if there’s a plan, i always stick to it, if not, i can be really random

12. who would play you in a movie?  Macaulay Culkin 

13. do you know how to play poker? A little, but betting confuses me.

14. what do you carry with you at all times? Chapstick, keys and a list of comics I want

15. what do you miss most about being a kid? Playing in the woods and building forts.

16. are you happy with your given name? I suppose, but Atom would have been more fun

17. how much money would it take to get you to give up the internet for one year? I am really poor right now, but I do love my AIM

18. what color is your bedroom? Beige.  Which sucks.  I usually have totally covered walls.

19. what was the last song you were listening to? Alanis Morisette Acoustic – Hand In My Pocket

20. have you ever been in a play?  Lots of them.  I even played a dead kid once.

21. have you ever been in love? I hope not, cause if that’s all that the fuss is about then screw it.

22. do you talk a lot? I talk a lot of smack.

23. do you like yourself and believe in yourself? I’m alright most of the time.

24. do transient, homeless, or starving people sometimes annoy you? Hell yes they do.  I am a heartless bastard when it comes to beggars.

25. do you consider yourself to be a nice person? I am nice to my friends.

26. do you spend more time with your bf/gf or your friends? once again, being single is a statement for me practically.  My friends.

27. what is your ideal marriage location? On a roller coaster

28. which musical instrument do you wish you could play? Guitar or Harmonica

29. favorite fabric? Soft cotton, like on vintage t-shirts.

30. something you love and hate? Money

31. what kind of bedding do you use? Just cotton sheets.  And I HATE jersey sheets.

32. what’s the one language you want to learn? I want everyone to learn my language.  And maybe I‘ll learn some sign language.

33. how do you eat an apple? Best if peeled, but I just chomp into it whole.

34. what do you order at a bar? A Bud Light bottle.

35. have you ever pierced your body parts? Nope

36. do you have tattoos? nope

37. do you drive a stick? nope

38. favorite trait of the opposite sex?   I like to watch girls do their make-up.  it’s funny.

39. what’s one trait you hate in a person? When people always tell stories that you know aren’t true.
40. what kind of watch do you wear? I hate watches.  my wrist is too skinny.

41. most frivolous purchase? Comic book statues.

42. do you consider yourself materialistic? no, but I‘d flip without my stuff!

43. what are you best at cooking? Nothing at all

44. favorite writing instrument? I like simple pens.

45. do you prefer to stand out or blend in?  A little of both

46. would you ever go out dressed like the opposite sex? I’m tryign to think if I’ve done that before and I don’t think I have.  I wouldn’t be comfortable with it.

47. what’s one car you will never buy? A Geo Metro.
.
48. what kind of books do you like to read? Comic Books and memoirs.

49. if you won the lottery, what would you do? Buy ranch and let all my friends move in.

50. burial or cremation? You dead, why does it matter?  Although I’d hate to wake up in the ground.

51. what’s one thing you like to do alone? Write

52. are you a giver or a taker? I take what I need, but give a lot if I’m asked to.

53. when’s the last time you cried?  A few weeks ago.

54. favorite communication method? face to face.

55. how many drinks before you’re tipsy? Depends on what I had for dinner

56. do you think you’re cute? I have my good days.

57. do you have problems changing clothes in front of friends? All of my clothes?  Or can I keep my underwear on?

Tuesday, November 30, 2004

 In 20 days i’ll be in the real world.  Shit

  Public – 12:32 AM – 2 beers – 1 blunt truth – edit it – email it

well, the real world is dull

        It’s been a long time since I’ve really felt like myself, but last night totally hit the spot for me.  A random Muncie trip to see Geoff, Anna and Megan at the drive-in was just what I needed.  The beers, the making fun of the movie, sleeping on a couch, the drive there, hitting on some guy repeatedly, i mean, it just brought back old times I guess.  Times where I felt I had a lot of personality and something to represent.  The bad thing was I lost my digital camera somewhere and I’m afraid I did something with it when I was drunk.  I hope it turns up soon.

        So I saw a commercial for the new Alanis Morissette CD.  It’s an acoustic remake of Jagged Little Pill, for the tenth anniversary.  I felt dated because I remember buying the CD when it originally came out.  Anyway, I’ve loved that album forever so I figured I’d support Alanis (after all she even toured with BNL) and buy the new CD.  But then I saw the commercials downfall.  Available exclusively at Starbucks!  It was in big green letters, like it was taunting me.  It was challanging me ethics.  The sin I would commit by entering that hell of all hells to buy a CD would be attrocious.  But I decided to be brave.  I would breach the Strabucks.  But to make sure my sacrifie wasn’t for nothing I called first to confirm they had the CD.  Otherwise I could have become really pissed and knocked someone’s jamocha double latte with cream out of their hand. 

      Now don’t get me wrong, I’ve been in a Starbucks before, but never to purchase anything. I really just hate the place.  A lot.  And those green aprons the people wear.  And that’s something because I love the color green.  Anyhow, I crept into the Stabucks quietly and looked around at all the CDs they had.  I couldn’t believe the variety.  I was suprised and thought to myself “Isn’t this a coffee shop?”  Anyway, I grabbed the Alanis CD and looked around at the other customers.  Jerks.   All of them.  Sitting in big arm chairs with limp wrists and half finished coffee concoctions, most of which I’m sure taste liek shit and are poisoned with addictive additives.  I turned and went to the register and then I about died.  Starbucks must have known I was coming.  They must have purposely put out the Alanis CD to persuade me to enter their store and then cause me to have a heart attack.  All because I know the truth about their evilness.  What caused this attack you ask?  A boy.

       He had blonde hair which was perfectly geled (or is that gelled?) and styled.  I think his eyes were a blue-ish green, but I may have made this part up in my head afterwards because I felt he was so wonderful anyhow.  He smiled, nice smile.  He took my CD.  “Is this all today?”  I said yes.  “No coffee”  I said no thanks.  “Good choice on the CD, really”.   I said it should be a good one.  He smiled again, and then, just then, I noticed it.  Something sparkled around him.  I think it was my gay-dar kicking in or something.  or maybe he was really really gay and had on gliter lotion of some shit.  Anyhow, I almost introduced myself, but then realized I would be flirting with the enemy.  He even had on one of those green aprons I hate.  But he looked good in it.  And he even had a nice ass.  I saw this as he turned around.  I left the stoe thinking, “I could go back in and talk to him”.   But I didn’t.  And later I considered going back to get something else, another CD maybe?  But would that look suspicious?  And could I survive the hell hole that is Starbucks again?  I was unsure.  God he was gorgeous.

         Anyhow, the CD is amazing as Alanis dazzles us with less angry and more distraught versions of her songs.  I loved it so much that I’ve been singing Alanis for two days straight.  My sister is tired of it.  And that was that.  I thought I’d leave you with a song I just wrote.  It’s about this girl I work with.

Think Twice

It’s been a long long time since i met some one who
could pull my secrets out of me the way you do
I guess i’m just a hard shoe to fit,
or maybe when i’m bored i like to bitch
so please excuse if i’m suprised by you

but you’re making me think twice
about this vice I’ve crafted oh so well
you’re making me ponder
this wonderland, this hell i’m living in
i don’t need confusion
you’re not the solution
and now i just can’t tell
your making me think twice
about this vice I’ve crafted oh so well

You have this natural way of being innocent, you do
I can’t decides if it’s a reheased scam, do you have something to prove
I don’t want to be a conquest goal
or some prize of gold for you
so is this about me or is this about you

CHORUS

Someone’s rearranged my things that i had placed
I’m stumbling blind around what be my own space
I’m feeling lost, I’m seeing things i’ve never seen
Should I go back to where I came from, where I should be?

CHORUS